Repairing Guides

how to repair a damaged friendship

by Camilla Cremin Published 3 years ago Updated 2 years ago
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15 ways to fix a broken friendship

  1. Reflect on what went wrong. You cannot fix a problem that you do not understand, so take some time to reflect on what...
  2. Try to see both sides. Many disagreements between friends are a result of not being unable to understand each other’s...
  3. Take time to cool off. When there is a conflict or heated fight with a friend, most...

15 ways to fix a broken friendship
  1. Reflect on what went wrong. ...
  2. Try to see both sides. ...
  3. Take time to cool off. ...
  4. Ask if they're willing to talk. ...
  5. Choose the right time and place to talk. ...
  6. Own and apologize for your behavior. ...
  7. Say how you feel and what you want. ...
  8. Listen attentively when they talk.
Sep 28, 2021

Full Answer

Should I fix a broken friendship?

Part 1 of 2: Trying to make amends

  1. Admit that you were the one in the wrong. That even if you thought at the time it was the right thing to do, you now realize it caused ...
  2. Look at yourself and the situation long and hard. This will help you to know how to form a solution.
  3. Get in touch. ...
  4. Give it time. ...
  5. Be thoughtful. ...

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How to restore a broken friendship?

#3 Give them some time

  1. Open up about your feelings. No one can understand your feelings if you never talk about them— even if they are your best friends for years.
  2. Do apologize. We make mistakes. ...
  3. Give them some time. Does an apology solve all the problems? ...
  4. Listen to their opinions. ...
  5. Reminisce. ...
  6. See the changes. ...

How to rebuild a friendship?

  • Evaluate whether you want the friendship and for what purpose? ...
  • Was he/ she very important for you and what value did the person add in your life in the past?
  • Rewind how your friendship went wrong, what were the reasons or circumstances that separated you.
  • Never hesitate to apologize if it were your fault. ...

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How to revive a friendship?

How to Revive a Friendship

  • Take inventory. First, ask yourself whether this is even a friendship worth resuscitating. ...
  • Manage expectations. ...
  • Resume contact with purpose. ...
  • Test the waters. ...
  • Go slow. ...
  • Prepare for all outcomes. ...

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How do you fix ruined friendship?

6 Ways to Mend a Broken Friendship and Have a Best friend for...Open up about your feelings. No one can understand your feelings if you never talk about them— even if they are your best friends for years. ... Do apologize. We make mistakes. ... Give them some time. ... Listen to their opinions. ... Reminisce. ... See the changes.

Is it worth repairing a broken friendship?

Many friendships hit rough patches, but a difficult fight may leave you feeling like the relationship is beyond repair. If you really care about this person, it will be worth the emotional strain to work through your problems. It may be hard, but fixing a broken friendship will leave it even stronger than before.

How do you save a falling apart friendship?

10 Ways To Save A Dying FriendshipMake time for your friends. Next time one of your friends calls you and wants to do something, say yes. ... Send a thoughtful gift. ... Send a note. ... Remind your friend of the good times. ... Apologize. ... Give your friend a call. ... Set up a lunch date. ... Schedule a regular activity you can do together.More items...

Is it possible to restore friendship?

Reviving a friendship is totally possible, so don't give up on your friend. It's normal for friendships to change over time, but sometimes change is a good thing. Your friendship might even come back stronger than it was before! Reach out to your friend so you can start reconnecting.

How can I get closer to my friend again?

5 ways to make your friendships closerCreate a foundation of security (hint: Answer that text) Before we can attempt closeness, we need to have security. ... Pay close attention. ... Let yourself be known. ... Take your friends on a test drive. ... Accept that closeness isn't one-size-fits-all.

When should you not fix a friendship?

7 Signs Breaking Up With A Friend Was The Right Thing To DoYour Friend Was Distant. ... You Felt Like It Was All Your Fault. ... You Don't Miss Them. ... You Disagree With Why They Left You. ... You Didn't Look Forward To Seeing Them. ... You're Relieved You Don't Have To Deal With Them. ... They've Handled The Friend Breakup Badly.

How do you know when a friendship is over?

The friendship is consistently one-sided. ... They betray your trust. ... They don't keep your secrets. ... They are overly negative and pessimistic. ... You have little or nothing to talk about. ... They create or attract drama. ... They are passive-aggressive when you say "no" to them. ... They dismiss it when you raise a concern.More items...•

How do you reconnect with a friend after drifting apart?

What to do when you and your bestie are drifting apartFigure out what happened.Plan a friend date.Just go ahead and ask what's going on.Acknowledge your feelings, and realize it's okay to be sad or confused.Remember the good things about your friend.Even if you and your friend break up, try to take the high road.

What to say to fix a friendship?

Franco recommended an honest, affirming approach such as, “Hey! I have felt like things have been a bit off since we had conflict. I'd love to get things back on track since I really value your friendship. I wanted to open up the conversation to see if there's any more air we need to clear.”

How do I reconnect my friend?

Reach out via social media: Connect with them through social media or text message if you're too nervous to make a phone call or to initiate a meet up. Follow up on one of their most recent posts to spark conversation about what they're up to. Slowly build up the relationship in a way that feels natural to you.

Is it worth rekindling a friendship?

When you do reconnect with those old friends, Dr. Franco recommends reminiscing about the past. You can talk about all of the happy memories that you've had together, she said. That can bring your relationship closer and also help you both feel more prepared to manage the stress that we're all under right now.

Are some friendships irreparable?

Yes, romantic breakups are super painful—but friendship breakups can hurt just as badly. That's right: No matter how many years you've been besties, sometimes even the longest friendships can come to an end (especially if they become toxic).

How do I become friends with my best friend again?

To get a friend back, start by reaching out to them and asking to meet in person so there aren't any misunderstandings over the phone or through texts. Then, tell your friend how important they are to you and ask them to forgive you for the things you did wrong in your friendship.

How can I rebuild trust in a broken friendship?

Make sure that you're open with one another and you tell each other what's on your mind. Listen carefully to your friend so you can respond to them...

How do I apologize to a friend I've had a bad fight with?

First, reflect on the fight to figure out your role in the fight. Then you can apologize for the specific part you played. Admitting your fault sho...

Anytime I offend my boyfriend, he thinks about a whole lot of things I did in the past, and he gets ...

You can try to not offend him over the things he gets upset about. Apologize and let him know through both your words and actions that you don't wa...

What to do when a friend would rather not repair?

"If the friend would rather not repair, then you can be proud of yourself for acting with integrity. Remember you're not in control of other people, but on your end, you did all you could," Franco said. 4. Shuffle the "friendship furniture".

Why is it tempting to let a friendship fade?

It can be tempting to let a friendship fade instead of facing conflict -- especially when life feels overwhelming in other ways -- because conflict is hard. But we are already facing a loneliness epidemic, and relationship repair carries further urgency in the face of biological evidence. "It actually is a matter of life ...

Why does Franco say that a friendship suffers?

Sometimes a friendship suffers due to a miscommunication, and sometimes the problems run much deeper . Franco encouraged people not to let a single issue break up a friendship, which is something she sees in her practice. "Conflict is an opening to recalibrate and improve a friendship, and it conveys mutual investment.

What did Franco say about red flags?

But Franco did advise being aware of red flags. "If you take a step back from the friendship and notice that it's doing more harm than good; for example, your friend isn't rooting for your success, bullies you, is inconsiderate, or you feel drained or misunderstood by them ... it might be time to end instead of mend," Franco suggested.

Why does Franco say "follow the red flags"?

Follow the red flags. Sometimes a friendship suffers due to a miscommunication , and sometimes the problems run much deeper. Franco encouraged people not to let a single issue break up a friendship, which is something she sees in her practice.

What does it mean when you lose touch with your friends?

And that means friendship is not a choice or a luxury; it's a necessity that is critical to our ability to succeed and thrive.". If you've lost touch with good friends or drifted apart in the past year, it could be time to work through hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

How to make a friend feel good?

1. Reflect and write down the good. Before you face a difficult conversation with a friend, pause and reflect. "Think of a specific moment that this friendship has brought you joy or excitement," recommended Adam Smiley Poswolsky, author of "Friendship in the Age of Loneliness.".

How to maintain a friendship?

Even if your stances vary, you have the potential to consider and respect both of your unique needs and hopes as you tend to the friendship in the future. In order to avoid cycling through and re-experiencing the concerns in the future, be mindfulof your boundaries. Remember to maintain kindness and respect for yourself by being reflective and assertivehereon. Having transparent, truthful talks from time-to-time can help you to stay aligned with your shared hopes and ultimately foster your friendship.

What is friendship about?

Friendship is about balance, and this can be practiced within this healthy conversation. While wanting to assert your view, have compassion for your friend’s standpoint whether it is aligned with your own or even if it is a potentially contrasting perspective. Ultimately, this is your friend.

How to avoid cycling through a friendship?

In order to avoid cycling through and re-experiencing the concerns in the future, be mindful of your boundaries.

How to grow friendships?

If you are true to yourself, utilize effective communication skills, and are open to your friend’s view, what could have erupted into a difficult dispute may be a turning point for growth in your friendship. Learn and Grow. Having a conversation is pivotal in paving the path for your growth.

How to make a friend share their view?

Remain calm and take your time. When your friend is sharing their view, be sure to listen attentively; avoid jumping ahead by considering what you are going to say next.

Does moving forward require a continuation of friendship?

It is important to note that moving forward does not require a continuation of your friendship. At this point in time, you may realize that it may be best to honor the friendship you once had and heal by growing, separately. On the other hand, you may now know what is needed from both sides to not only maintain, but capitalize on the friendship.

Do friendships always last?

Further, as we age, quality friendships may account more for our happiness than familial ties. Nevertheless, friendships are not always forever. Friendships may falter for a variety of reasons. When they take a turn for the worse, is it ...

What happens if a friendship ends?

Even if the friendship ends, you will learn some lessons from it and not do the same mistakes in other friendship.

What to do if you don't like your friends?

If you don’t like some stuff from your friends, then you need to be honest. It’s not for your own good, but it’s also for them.

What is the most beautiful quality of friendship?

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood — Seneca.

What to say to a friend who supports you?

If they are a person who supports you to achieve your dreams, then congratulations . It’s going to be worth your time to mend the friendship and have them as a best friend for life.

Is it better to have a supportive friend or a good friend?

Nothing is better than have a good friendship with supportive friends.

Is friendship the best thing in the world?

Friendship is tricky — it could be the best thing in the world and other times, it’s the worst thing that makes you lose hope about this world.

Is there a perfect friendship?

Like a relationship, there is never going to be a perfect friendship, either. A fun fact about friendship is you may argue a lot with them, too.

How to treat your friend if they hurt you?

1. Empathize and put yourself in their shoes. Everyone on earth has been in a position where they've hurt a friend - intentionally or not.

How do friendships help us?

Friends and interpersonal relationships shape our lives and help mold us into the people that we are. Friends support each other and encourage each other. Friends see the best in each other and tell each other the truth - even if it hurts.

Why is it important to learn from your mistakes?

It's a part of life, and by learning from and growing from our own mistakes, we can move forward and develop stronger interpersonal skills overall. If you have made a mistake in a friendship and need to make amends for your words or behavior, these tips can get you started on the right path to overcoming your mistakes and making a positive change.

What to do when you make a mistake and owe someone an apology?

If you make a mistake and you owe someone an apology, don't couch your apology with excuses. No sentence containing the words "I'm sorry" should simultaneously contain the word "but". 3. Take Responsibility for your words and your behavior. This includes not making excuses for your action as well.

Why do we need friendships?

While some people are genuine loners who enjoy being alone and don't like to rely on anyone for anything, most of us lean on our friendships and relationships to make it through hard days, to have a place to vent at the end of the day, to gain advice and encouragement and to find unconditional support - even when we may not deserve it. These friendships help us define who we are and what we stand for, and they're worth saving, if possible. Throwing away an investment in a friendship can be incredibly traumatic for both parties, so it's important to try to see things from all different perspectives before rushing to judgement. Remember - we all make mistakes. How would we like our mistakes to be reflected on us and our relationships? How do we view mistakes that others make towards us? Are we forgiving and understanding, or do we turn hostile?

What happens if you are the wronged party?

If You were the Wronged Party. Getting your feelings hurt or feeling betrayed by someone you considered to be a friend can be a heartbreaking experience, and trust is difficult to rebuild once it has been tested or damaged.

How to respond to a heartfelt apology?

1. Remember that you cannot control the other person's reaction to a heart-felt apology or explanation. You are only responsible for your own actions , and apologizing is no guarantee that the other person will react or respond the way that you want them to.

How to mend a relationship?

Acknowledging the problem is the best way to start solving it. To truly mend your relationship, be honest about what needs to change. It’s best if you can meet face to face for this conversation, so pick a time and a place where you both feel comfortable. Break the ice by telling them that you want to have an open conversation.

How to grow a friendship?

Put effort into this relationship to help it grow. Friendships take work, just like any other relationship. It might take some time for your two to get back to a great place. That’s okay. Be patient and keep trying to connect with your friend.

What to say when someone messes up?

If you messed up, be the first to say sorry. It can be hard to apologize, especially when there are deep feelings involved. But if you were in the wrong, own it. This will let your friend know that you’re really committed to working on your relationship.

How to move forward in Honsety?

Honsety shows that you’re serious about fixing the friendship. To move forward, you’ll need to communicate openly with your friend. This can be tough, especially if you’re still feeling raw. Be patient with yourself, but commit to being honest moving forward. Let your friend know how you feel and what you need from them.

How to heal a damaged friendship?

Taking the responsibility for your part in the damaged friendship is essential for healing and moving on from the volatile feelings between the two parties. Although it is difficult to have the courage to own up for the wrongs inflicted, think of the respect you will have gained for yourself and from the other person. Being raw, open and honest is highly underappreciated, however to that friend that you miss, if they value you in their life, it will be everything they wanted to hear. It will also initiate the first step of trust again within repairing your damaged friendship.

What if you live with regrets?

You do not want to live 20 years down the line and realise that, the person is no longer there anymore to say everything you held on to within your heart. We are never guaranteed to live to tomorrow, so every day should be fulfilling and as burden-free as possible. You have nothing to lose, but beautiful memories and time- the true life currency that will be the most valuable to you when looking over your life achievements. ‘What if’ are two words that can haunt you for the rest of your life. Don’t let your damaged friendship remain unsettled- fight for the years and moments you invested in someone. Have the courage to act on what you yearn for.

What does friendship look like?

Most often, friendship looks like something messier: People will float in and out of your life as you change, or they change, or circumstances change. There are moves. There are fallings-out. Schedules get busy.

Who is the author of Best Friends Forever?

But reviving a friendship that’s died requires more than just hitting the play button on something that’s been paused, explains Irene Levine , a psychiatry professor at NYU and the author of Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup With Your Best Friend.

Is it okay to be super tight with your 7th grader?

You’re probably not still super tight with your seventh-grade best friend ; in fact, as you enter your 30s, you begin to shed a lot of the friends you made in your earlier years. In most cases, that doesn’t mean you’ve banished those people from your life forever; it just means you’ve gone in different directions.

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